Those Phrases from My Parent Which Rescued Me as a Brand-New Father

"I think I was simply trying to survive for the first year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to handle the demands of fatherhood.

Yet the truth quickly became "very different" to what he pictured.

Severe health complications around the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was pushed into becoming her primary caregiver while also looking after their infant son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, each diaper… every stroll. The role of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following eleven months he burnt out. That was when a chat with his parent, on a public seat, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The direct statement "You aren't in a good place. You need some help. In what way can I help you?" opened the door for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and start recovering.

His situation is commonplace, but rarely discussed. While the public is now better used to addressing the strain on moms and about PND, less is said about the difficulties dads go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his challenges are linked to a broader reluctance to communicate between men, who often internalise damaging notions of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the harbour wall that just takes the pounding and remains standing time and again."

"It isn't a show of weakness to request help. I didn't do that soon enough," he clarifies.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men often don't want to accept they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental health is vitally important to the family.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the chance to ask for a respite - spending a short trip away, outside of the home environment, to gain perspective.

He understood he had to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's feelings as well as the day-to-day duties of caring for a new baby.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now writing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotional life and make sense of his parenting choices.

The notion of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen did not have reliable male guidance. Even with having an "incredible" connection with his dad, profound trauma caused his father struggled to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions caused him to make "terrible actions" when in his youth to change how he was feeling, finding solace in substance use as a way out from the anguish.

"You turn to behaviours that don't help," he says. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will ultimately exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Coping as a New Father

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a trusted person, your spouse or a therapist what you're going through. It can help to ease the pressure and make you feel less isolated.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like you before the baby arrived. This might be exercising, socialising or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the body - nutritious food, staying active and when you can, resting, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - sharing their stories, the messy ones, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Know that asking for help is not failure - prioritising your own well-being is the most effective way you can care for your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the loss, having not spoken to him for years.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead provide the safety and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son starts to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - processing the emotions in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become more balanced, healthier men since they confronted their issues, altered how they talk, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I expressed that in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I expressed, on occasion I believe my role is to instruct and tell you what to do, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering as much as you are through this experience."